greetings from the trenches. ugh.

so unbelievably I am still here in the (notso)united states of america. without going into all of the gory details, the truth is I decided to come and spend the winter months building up reserves for the coming year. I have a number of projects on the plate in the next two years related to growing my business and decided to try for some supplemental funding. winters in the Dordogne are quiet and cold and my prospects seemed better by taking this route.

I have been in an ongoing state of culture shock (previously mentioned) since arriving. there are obviously some positives as well. I've gotten to spend more time with my kids than I have in quite awhile. I have hung out with my dear friend Christie a lot, so fun.

I am staying in a sweet little cottage (my daughter's) and have the use of a car (thank you baby) and an iPhone for connectivity. The cottage is sans television (yay!) so I have been soaking up public radio to keep up with all of the turmoil in the world ... and also here in the states.

From time to time, I get access to one friend or another's computer, like today ... so I am taking advantage to do this update. I miss home terribly, my house, my friends, my little dogs ... and can't wait to get home and get settled in to start my third business season!

I have been having fun tracking down this project and that ... I have landed some "rental agent" work (prepping, marketing and renting investment properties) which are going well. Also been helping in the shop here, continuing to work on furniture and pick up tips from Johnelle. And I have other gigs in the hopper.

It is funny. Yesterday on NPR there was a bit on american un and under-employment. Interviewing a few different couples where individuals had gone from making 6 figure salaries to struggling to find entry level work. or piecing together part-time jobs. and projects. the only difference between them and me is that I am over the moon to be in my current state versus my old corporate career and they are longing to return to the grind!!! My life is so much more interesting and satisfying than it used to be, I can't imagine returning to the old approach. ever.

In general, it seems many Americans have surrendered to what have been considered the 'norms' of society (consumerism, keeping-up, symbols of so-called prosperity) and continue to strive to maintain at any cost, or feel inadequate if they can't sustain the old ways...

Another thing I find so surprising is how accepting of media reporting or 'misinformation' it seems folks here are. I guess I thought after all of the woes American society has been through in the past few year ... such as financial crises where corporations and banks are 'bailed out' by the government while the average american is really struggling and losing ground ... more people would be reacting against corporate interests, and demanding more for the average citizen.

Instead it appears Americans are angry at each other. and seem to be more than willing to blame each other versus some of the obvious inequities ... for example ... there is a huge budget crisis here right now and there is a lot of reporting coverage over what to do. Naturally, the 2 parties are having a media battle over it all. State governments are also struggling. With the recent elections, Republicans have regained power in Congress, and several republican governors were elected.

Spending cuts are being proposed all over the map ... with the (surprise surprise) exception of the military, Medicare, Social Security. So instead, social benefits are in the cross hairs....benefits for the poorest segments of the country. Oh and of course, no revenue increases (tax increases) and in fact, tax cuts for the rich put in during the Bush years have been extended!!!! The majority of big corporations in America pay no federal taxes!

So instead, what I've been hearing about is the elimination of public radio. cutting in half a national program that pays for heat during winter for the nation's poor. efforts to reverse the health care bill. cuts to food programs for the poor. cuts to programs for teens leaving the foster care system with no family or support system to rely upon as they enter society.



And the latest craze. union busting. elimination of collective bargaining for workers. and weirdly enough, many non-union workers in the private sector have jumped on the bandwagon and clamor for unions to be disbanded. screaming (in a very inaccurate and misinformed fashion) that public workers (many unionized) are 'pampered' and should have to suck it up and help the country recover....instead of realizing how fucked they are without a union, without being organized to ensure proper working conditions, pay levels and benefits are in place. Governments (state and fed) are crying broke (and maybe some of them are) ... but there are deep pockets of opportunity in many arenas outside of worker's backs and they should be drawn upon. More workers should be organizing. Don't they see there is a REASON the private sector fights unionization so aggressively? When I was in my old life, I was sent to courses on how to detect signs of potential organizing and what to do to nip it in the bud. Scare tactics like 'you'll lose your job, this plant will close, etc.' are put in place for the simple reason that it is the corporations that are afraid ... afraid of losing a cent of profit. Watch any of the protest coverage here and you will see citizens protesting against citizens protesting!!!
2010 was the second most profitable year in the entire HISTORY of the American stock market. Corporations are posting the largest profits ever. Banks are back to paying bonuses again. or finding creative ways to award the fatcats by drawing the least amount of attention. and banks are back to redlining, beginning to aggressively close branches in poor neighborhoods. I could list on and on the dismal reports I've heard. The gap in salary between rich and poor has never grown faster! the middle class is shrinking at unheard of rates.


Lots of news programs and talk shows inquire "what are YOU willing to do to help out the country?". My reply (and yours should be too) not a damn thing until the government stops bailing out the rich and treating corporations like royalty. not a damn thing while we feed the voracious appetite of the military. not a damn thing while over 50 million people are uninsured. while 8 million people considered 'employed' have poverty level part-time jobs. not lifting a fucking finger while millions have been unemployed so long they don't even show up on the rolls anymore. ZERO effort while we fund lobbyists and corporate farms and prop up international dictatorships and pat oil companies on the back.

it is really depressing to see what is happening in this land. I frankly just don't get how so many people just don't seem to get it. that the government is there for the people. Citizens are the employers of these bozos. and these bozos need to be fired.

I am ever so slightly heartened to see people in Wisconsin taking a stand. People power needs to spread. there absolutely needs to be a major course correction in this country. Continued striking would be awesome and it would be wonderful if it spread to the extent that businesses and corporations had to pay attention.

somehow I don't think it will happen. Americans are easily discouraged. and unwilling to feel much pain ... or maybe think they are numb to it. Around the world, folks are risking (and losing) their lives to live in a democracy.

Here not very many people seem inclined to leave their armchairs in order to maintain the elements that made their democracy great.

je suis une champignonniere!

Today I went mushroom hunting with my neighbor and friend, Nicole.  She is a champion of the forest, a veritable ange des champignons, could it have anything to do with being named Dubois?  she adores her precious Perigord region and until today, seemed reticent to bring me along to her secret places...but invite me she did and I jumped at the chance.

I have been a few times before with groups, never being any good at it but enjoying the walk.  Today, it rained softly and the first hour or more, we found zilch.  We were on our third location when we struck gold.

Nicole had found three or four cèpes, and was decidedly downcast.  Me, I found lots of inedible stuff that had to be put back.  But now, after a few outings, I am confident in this variety ... cèpes, of the boletus family, a cousin to porcinis so I am told. 
















Finally! I spotted a corner of a mushroom hiding under a branch.  A big cèpe noir, a luscious dark brown cap (or chapeau), firm and enormous stem ... entirely edible.  I had stumbled upon a grove, it seemed! Suddenly we were discovering them left and right.  Big and small.  They are clever, these fungi, hiding themselves under grass and leaves, camouflaged well.  We estimate our hall at about ten kilos of mushrooms!!!  check the prices out on those babies and you will see why we were reluctant to depart.

Now, I am gently sautéeing them in only olive oil, after which they will be frozen for winter. 

Day by day, I am trying to recover that woman that tossed everything to the wind to come here ... and also to recover those experiences that made it all worthwhile! like mushroom hunting.  doing my own small winter projects.  Improving my french.  expanding my ring of friends.

I have been lost, struck hard by financial uncertainty and trying not to lose it all! my zest, my foothold here, my adoration of this feisty land and her citizens.  nothing that has happened to me is france's fault ... thankfully!  no, the reality is that France keeps trying to save me.  And she is succeeding, along with my help.

As I wandered in the woods today, I thought about the time when mankind here relied on such activities for survival.  I wonder if they took pleasure in the act itself or when turning up empty handed, returned to their living spaces stressed and concerned?  for surely, they were like the squirrels preparing for the cold winter.  No Carrefours were around to ensure full larders.  They of course planted and reaped, bartered and sold and bought in the village open markets.  and they foraged, and found ways to preserve and store their precious foodstuffs without electricity's helping hand.  Life was without doubt precarious and yet, I can also imagine the pleasure of being in their land, their woods, observing all that nature could provide or would in coming seasons.





Today, we not only had a bounty of lovely cèpes, the forest floor was littered with hazelnuts and chestnuts.  we could see the beds of coming girolles in spring.  the ground was a veritable natural compost layer in action, rich earthy springy goodness.

what a delightful day.... I'm beginning to remember those again.

a long cold winter.

I've reopened my blog. I have had much to say and nothing to say... I shut it down because I had laryngitis of my writing voice.

Unlike many blogs I have read, I began my blog filled with excitement and hope and optimism about my coming adventure. Writing about my experiences, sharing the ride brought me great joy.

I struggled writing in the last year because I was struggling in life. I know I probably could have written a lot about all my challenges and received positive words of support. I have even, from time to time, written about a down point here and there. But when it came to the point where it seemed in staring at my keyboard, I could find nothing but personal turmoil and difficulty, I could only shut down for a pause.

At some point I may share some of the challenges which I think might relate to someone considering making such a leap as mind ... I might be able to give some tips to manage or overcome potential hazards.

Suffice it to say, sometimes we become so wrapped up in the stress and problem of the moment, it is hard to step back and look at the bigger picture ... it can become a matter of digging in to find make it through each day.

This blog of mine has always been a pretty open and transparent lens into my life. When I felt the only view I could give was through a strong filter, I decided just to cap the lens for awhile.

I hope to be able to get back into my groove here, write more and move to the next chapter. Not only has writing here given me great pleasure ... I have made some great friends and acquaintances simply from this site. I would hate to lose that future possibility.

à bientôt!