I'm it.

aha, during my Evelyn Woods-style catch up scanning, I've discovered that not only did Monsieur one-L NOT go see Amy Rigby, after she and Wreckless Eric spent hard-earned cash to come perform for him ... but now he has gone and TAGGED me. again.

grrrr. self-revelation. shudder. but this one is pretty tame so I'll give'er'a'go.

1. Clothes shop. hmmmm. Well, currently it is a little boutique up the lane in Brantome. When I came here I swore I wasn't going to buy any new clothes for one year. After going through the massive downsizing ... sorting, selling, tossing of crap that included excess clothing, I felt I could go at least a year with what was left. However, my body is in a state of flux ... a state of reduction ... and my pants were literally falling off of my ass. And belted was just NOT a pretty sight. So my first idea was to have Johnelle bring me 2 pairs of jeans from my old standby, Ann Taylor. The only store where previously I could walk in, grab off the racks and pay ... none of that horrendous, demoralizing, debilitating trying on in a cube lined with mirrors and fluorescent lighting for me.

She brought the 2 pairs, one was one size smaller, one was two sizes smaller ... as requested ... and they were both too big! So I had to break down and go on in to town. Wish I could tell you the name of the boutique but alas I don't remember ... but my beautiful black jeans with delicious waxy denim are unforgettable.

Oh and I also kind of like Zara. Dropped a little coin there in Spain because I had to have more than one pair of pants that fit me. Now I have 4. yay me!

2. Furniture shop. Mignonne Décor, of course. We find the absolute best vintage pieces and my daughter refinishes and refurbishes by hand. We also carry cool new pieces too like stuff from Kartell.

I really am not a big fan of purchasing new furniture. I feel like there is enough stuff in the world, let's all just reuse it. I do like browsing furniture catalogues for ideas though. I have an eclectic design approach and love a melange of epochs, styles and colors.

3. Sweet. hmmm. well, I am more of a savory lover ... but Valhrona chocolate IS the bomb. Okay? Also, I will tell you that the absofuckinglutely BEST dessert on the planet, consumed by me, resides at the Blue Hour in Portland, Oregon. It is a chocolate pot-de-creme that is better than sex. Yes, I said. ME. better than sex. Well okay maybe not better than that one time on Stinson Beach in the 90s or that one OTHER time .... but I digress. Generally speaking, better than most sex. the average sex average Americans have....

If you ever find yourself in Portland and pass up the opportunity to indulge, you are just plain crazy.

4. City. ummm. derrr!!!!! PARIS. mais oui, bien sur. (eyeroll). Duhhh!!! Can you say, Place des Vosges? la Seine? Montmartre? le Marais? Luxembourg Gardens? Tour Eiffel? Isle de St. Louis? bah, oui!

5. Drink? slurp. A Figoun cocktail from À Côté in Oakland, California is delish. A French 75 from the Heathman Hotel in Portland is divine. A Hendricks Gin and Tonic with lime mixed by moi is heavenly. And my latest favorite, le rum punch by Monsieur Jean-Yves suits me to a T. (rum, sugar cane syrup and fresh squeezed lime warms all the way down).

Oh wait a sec. this WASN'T about alcohol? bummer. Okay then Pellegrino with fresh lime is my stand-by. Even here. In Evian and Badoit land.

6. Music? God. Who on earth could pick just one favorite musician? C'est impossible! truly. I love Django and Edith, Miles and the Bird and Coltrane, I love Aretha and Rev Al, the Beatles and the Stones ... gimme some Loretta Lynn or Patsy Cline ... Teddy Pendergrass back in the day, got by with some O'Jays (can you hum Desire Me?) ... or then there is The Bird and the Bee, The Jets, Van Morrison, Leonard Cohen, Ella and Nina and Sarah and Billie ... what about Louis Armstrong? ... Joao Gilberto? Sanseverino? Ben Harper? Stevie? Bob Marley? Donny Hathaway?

Merde. C'est impossible. My list is never ending.

7. TV Series? hmmm. The Office. Six Feet Under. Sex And the City. Deadwood. Sopranos.

8. Film. Another impossibility. But currently, La Mome springs to mind.

9. Workout?! LMAO. that's right, I'm currently using the laughing my ass off regime for health and well being.

10. Pastries. again, not really my domain. I'll have to go with fresh croissants from my local boulangerie. Or the Elvis Presley cupcake from St. Cupcake in Portland.

11. Coffee. Major Dickason's beans from Peets. Brewed by me in my Italian Espresso Pot.

Now comes the part that is difficult. passing it on. Utah Savage, Notre Vie Juteuse, La Framericaine, and In an old house in Paris.

gather round little cupcakes.

I've been bad. very bad. the debbil made me do it. (Honest, Stacey!)

Apparently residing in the topsy-turvy other world of non-employment has turned my head upside down. I have somehow confused the idea of a weight LOSS diet and a weight GAIN diet. So much so, that today I ate TWO desserts!!! and one of them felt sneaky. even though I didn't plan it that way.

I had lunch with my friend Stacey today. We met at an old haunt of mine in Portland's Pearl district ... Piazza Italia. Now if you are ever in that particularly seductive area of Portland (not much more appealing to a gal than the pearl) ... you must go there. Their specialty is simple, well prepared Italian dishes. Stacey had the Squarciarella and I the gnocchi. Their bread was perfectly italian, chewy crust, fresh and tasty innards ... not that fake air stuff. We had wine (yum) and then ... I ordered dessert. Not just ANY dessert mind you. but Piazza Italia's jaw dropping Affogatto. The first time I had this dessert I thought I had died and gone to Neiman Marcus' shoe department. It was THAT amazing. and yet ridiculously, in fact DECEPTIVELY simple. You take a frosty iced dessert glass. You add 2 scoops of the most decadent vanilla ice cream or gelato you can find. Using the absolute BEST, FRESHEST coffee beans ... you prepare a shot of espresso and chill it. or let it cool off. whatever. you pour this over the ice cream. top it with fresh whipped cream. devour. sex on a spoon I tell you SEX ON A SPOON!!!!

Stacey eyed me dubiously when I ordered said dessert. "large sigh. I guess I won't be visiting Saint Cupcake after all". My greedy ears perk up. "Saint Cupcake? you wanted to go there? I hadn't even thought of it!" (starts salivating disappointedly) then ... bright shiny thing arrives - Affogatto!!! Stacey dips her spoon and then her eyes roll to the back of her head as she is transported to ... Affogatto where but it was heavenly. It was quite entertaining to watch the two of us attempt to politely share this one dish. her spoon. then my spoon. then her spoon (won't she hurry up???) then mine .... presto change-o, no more affogatto!

So as if that meal weren't MORE THAN ENOUGH ... we proceed to knock around the Pearl, and then we part ways for our next appointments. I finish up my 2 errands in downtown Portland, and I'm heading for the freeway when, suddenly and completely out of my control, my car is pulled by some invisible yet Superman-strong force up one block and a left where lo and behold, a miraculously empty parking space awaits just at the curb of .... SAINT CUPCAKE!!!

As mentioned previously, this sly saint fools you into believing you are only HALF bad if you order the dots (mini-cupcakes). But I couldn't decide and now they are so far away from Seaside and so of course to be economical I had to order SIX. cost of gas and all.

So there they are folks. Nestled in their pink box. That's a Fat Elvis on the top left (banana cake with peanut butter fudge frosting and a banana chip for good measure). I already ate one *burp*. The flirty little hussy to his right is Lemon Berry ... yep, yep. Lemon Cake and blueberries in the frosting. Smack dab in the center is Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese frosting. mmmm. Lower Left is the turtle! Chocolate cake ensconced in Butterscotch with a walnut half. The toasty number on the bottom right is Coconut. Vanilla cake with toffee brittle and Toasted Coconut frosting.

The only thing lowfat on my dessert menu was the ice cold 2% milk I washed down Elvis with.

I used to have a saying at work that the only surprises I wanted were the kind that came in little blue boxes. My one true confession at the altar of Saint Cupcake? I've got it bad. I need the kind of surprises that come in little pink boxes. And that ain't good.

Bless me sisters for I have sinned. *my tummy hurts.*