(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)

Friday, August 14, 2009

misery magnet.

hmmm. seems I've acquired a new attraction for the lonely-hearted. unfortunately of the feminine variety. I have had three women (all French) unload on me in the last week. concerning their loneliness. their 'habitation seule'. their incomprehension of how this has happened to them. or why. detailed explanations of how they arrived at this state. eyes welling up. finally, gazing at me like I'm some sort of holy grail, some ancient wisewoman soothsayer, their personal Lady of Lourdes, here to impart healing and understanding.

like it isn't frustrating enough to decide to stroll down to the village for dinner by the river at the brasserie ... intending to give myself a little treat and profit from the live music and the warm weather. Only to have the nice young waitress with whom I've exchanged pleasantries ask me rather dolefully why I am always alone? "You, a pretty woman, beautiful eyes, lovely hair, always alone when I see you here or in the village". um gee, thanks for reminding me! let me know when you come across some prospects, 'kay?!

wtf. many aspects of my life are amazing, gratifying, superb even. But when it comes to l'amour ... il existe jamais pour moi. my one pseudo-relationship here is complicated to say the least! I've got my hands-full trying to dissect my own state of being let alone diagnose others' sad-sack situations. and even if I had the time or inclination, gimme a break ladies. my track record alone should shoo-fly you right the heck on outta here!



Randal Graves said...

Instead of a button stating "je m'appelle..." how about one stating "je ne sais pas." A woman's gotta eat, non?

La Framéricaine said...

Aside from the obvious annoying aspects of having French women, of all people, treating you like Dear Abby, you are once again proving how stereotypical are common perceptions of the French since they are usually accused of being very reserved and not giving up their sad stories so easily.

On a totally practical and pragmatic note, all I can recommend is a thorough reading of "The Nature of Personal Reality" by Jane Roberts. It's the only thing that helped me.

It's the best thing I've ever read on both phenomena--that of attracting lonely women's sob stories and that of changing one's reality to suit one's own desires.

As you say, and as you are seeing reflected back to you by your "new best friends", your beliefs about your ability to succeed in realizing your own dreams is quite strong, forceful, and quickly actualized in the area of accomplishing the goal of a new life and work in France, while your beliefs about your ability to attract into your life, and make blossom, the type of life-of-the-heart that you desire is lagging, relative to what you want to actualize, a bit behind.

As you continue to evolve, your beliefs about yourself in that dimension will do likewise and you will find what it is that you are seeking.

You are lovable. And you are not responsible for anyone else's reality. You ain't their therapist!

Jonathon G said...

When people bug you about their life's problems, offer blunt advise with no trimmings. People hate that.

"Well, maybe you're just not attractive physically and have irreparable personality traits. Have you considered becoming a Carmelite nun?"

Perhaps this would drive them to better waters from which to sponge.

JChevais said...

um. what Framéricaine said.

don't forget that you're in the country, where folks have different ideals about relationships. imagine you were in the middle of rural america, would there be something of the same? how would you react to that?

you don't need a man. wants and needs aren't the same thing.

i have faith that you'll have everything you desire. make your business strong first. a man may very well distract you and take the wind out of your sails. make sure that you make it clear that your livelihood is your priority and you'll attract the right man... not just any old redneck.

i sometimes regret not having done this properly. it's a hell of a struggle to get understanding afterwards. trust me.