a fellow blogger and former Facebook friend recently shared a video on Facebook because "she loved this video".
It was by a woman who was sharing make-up tips, life stuff, etc. You know there are more and more gals out there with this sort of thing ...
so I click over to watch the you tube presentation ... and I was more and more fascinated AND disturbed at the same time. certain aspects of the video were quite artistic and aesthetically appealing ... it wasn't only her sat in front of the screen but included breakaway shots and great music.
but when she was on the screen, there were times when it was, to me, too weird. her affect and body language were quite bizarre and she seemed strangely focused ... preoccupied with herself and in particular, her lips/mouth. her lips were obviously injected with something and seemed strangely out of place. now, this lady is a blogger and a youtube poster .. so it doesn't seem out of bounds to me to comment upon my reaction to viwing this shared video. and after viewing ten minutes or so of her video creation, the pièce de resistance was the ending , where we are treated to footage of her in the chair of a doctor? or aesthetician, receiving injections in her lips. again, her expressions during this segment were really disturbing to me.
so yeah I get that I don't know this woman and maybe she is a very nice person etc but that doesn't change the fact of my reaction ... and if she were my friend, I would be telling her my thoughts, albeit perhaps in a fashion more tailored to our friendship, knowledge of each other ... but still I would not be applauding this or masking my concerns simply because she is SO NICE or she is MY FRIEND or other excuses. that is not true friendship. in my world anyway.
I will share a link at the end here so you can all jump on the bully bandwagon if you choose!
in any event, after watching this ... my reaction was yuk, that was really creepy, and I commented as such. she is also quite thin, and I threw in the fact that someone needs to give her a sandwich ... ha ha. to be fair I also commented on the lovely editing work and her great shoes. granted, I probably could have worded my viewpoint more kindly, but hey that isn't my strong point.
this was all on facebook. well, within seconds someone chided me for being mean and also for being mean on this sweet person's blog.
I answered back that sweet person knew me and that I was always direct.
and then in a few sentences I also commented on what i think is the crux of the matter, that there are lots of females, young and old, watching these make-uppy things and these types of blogs/videos are just like the twisted U.S. media ... creating ideals for women that are so off kilter. I also stated that this woman appeared to me to have a preoccupation with her lips , reinforced by the ending and it was creepy.
well with the time difference and all, it took a day to realize sweet person had summarily deleted me from her page and then proceed to join in on disparaging me as a bully, a mean girl, why can't women just be nice,oh and let's not forget envious, ugly and childish (all quotes of sweet person) blah blah blah. no consideration for the content of my comment, no opportunity to respond, etc. at a minimum, I am an acquaintance of this person for some time now and yet not even the courtesy of a note questioning my remarks ... nada. Its a shame, really because this is an interesting topic and opening a dialogue amongst a group of women would be far more productive than immediately shutting it down in the guise of being nice ... good manners ... how mean and all. a missed opportunity. but hey, maybe this is a sensitive topic for sweet person as well. which also bears reflection ...
sweet person, whom I have actually met and corresponded with over the course of the few years I have had my blog, is a licensed therapist and frankly I also found it disturbing that she would be giving kudos to someone who appears to have some issues. she also apparently forgot she had added me as a friend through my shop and that I could still see the page there. Funny in a way but also ironic and a little sad ... but hey, I wanted to have a forum to respond and so here I am!!! lol
so what say you? is criticism bullying? when someone shares something for public consumption are we supposed to keep our viewpoints to ourselves unless they are "nice"? and in this particular example, is this something you'd want your daughter to watch and applaud, maybe even emulate?
My answer is no on all counts ... what is yours?
this is the link to the video, sometimes it is up and sometimes it is blocked as private ...
PS- I am adding this postscript to further explain my statement, "I will share a link at the end here so you can all jump on the bully bandwagon if you choose!".
As a result of a couple of commenters, I can see how this could be misinterpreted as my urging people to take part in bullying the video or video maker.
My message was meant to signify - here, I am providing you with a link to the video. Watch it and decide for yourself if you think I am a bully with the comments I have described. If you think I am a bully, you can jump on the bandwagon with Tracey Cleantis and her Facebook gang and let me know.
I was going to just reword my original post ... but as it seems there is some group attention continuing out there, I wouldn't want to appear deceitful....
(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)