(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)

Friday, May 30, 2008

this should come in handy.

how cool is this? up till now, I've only mastered making enemies in one language. or none. because sometimes my mere presence (or expression) can accomplish said feat.

My various moving exercises have been akin to archeological digs. one hilarious find was this pocket-sized gem that someone gave me a long time ago. My word, who knew the material would be so varied and rich? Not only will it expand my sharp tongueability to many countries ... but I can actually pawn off my sarcastic comments, with a look of complete innocence, on language practice. Watch out world, I have the key to pronunciation for bald-headed coot, vinegary hag, blood sucking leech and cross-eyed twit ... right here at my fingertips. Far be it from me to utter such degrading remarks ... but knowing I can makes me smile. and smiling is good.

"vous êtes le joueur le plus dégoûtant que j'ai jamais vu" was in the sports section. But maybe I will be able to find an alternate use for it. in time. heh heh.

I'll teach you some for a price. There's loads more where those came from. I can share with you not only how to insult a person, but laundry, train station, fish market, in fact from the grocer to the mailman; as well as social events as varied as dances and parties, restaurant dining or buying a pair of shoes ... you name it ... I've got your well worded barb at the ready!

bwahahahahahaHAHA!

10 comments:

La Belette Rouge said...

JNRR: Actually this is not one of your book recommendations I am going to rush out and buy. I actually really like not knowing how people are insulting me. This is the one advantage of having such feeble French skills. ;-)

I admire your ability to hurl a fierce insult in many languages. The only insult I know in a foreign language is the one my Spanish teacher taught my 8th grade class so we would learn the vowel sounds in Spanish,"El burro sabe mas que tu." This was a big hit with all the kids. Oh, and it means "a donkey knows more than you." And, dear JNRR, that was not directed at you.;-)

our juicy life said...

look out residents of Brantome!

Je ne regrette rien said...

LBR- I'm stubborn like a donkey ... soo... if the shoe fits! ha!

OJL- en garde is right!

F.O.T. said...

There should be a French language book on how to be subtly sarcastic. Like, for example, if a stranger call you "a friend" they are insulting you.

Randal Graves said...

Archaeological dig indeed. Check out those 70s graphics!

As for sporting insults, why waste time with words when a good headbut will do. ;-)

Je ne regrette rien said...

true FOT, I am unfamiliar with the insults of the French. Other than one I recently received on a board (France Tales) where Americans and Brits are equally bashed with the subtle designation of you Anglo Saxons who act like NYers! lmao

RG- well true, but I think my reason for selection of that particular sports analogy was a bit too subtle. As my hopes for using it had nothing to do with sports. At least not sports of the competitive variety! *wink*

b said...

Vinegary hag?! That is too funny.

Knowledge is power, they say. But as with LBR, I fear that knowledge of such insults in French would only allow me to decipher what the French might actually be saying to me. But then again, I would understand and be able to retaliate with vinegary hag!! Muhahahahhahha!!!

a quasi French woman said...

I recall very clearly being in le BHV (Bazaar d'Hôtel de Ville) à Paris buying little 4x6 clip-on glass frames, for mounting the postcards that I love to buy in France, when some snippy little cashier started giving me static in the way only a French caissière can do. I was SO pleased to be able to tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine in her own frickin' language. I knew then that I'd arrived.

Not that I go looking for trouble...

La Framéricaine said...

So sorry, I have multiple personality disorder and posted that last comment as my alter ego "a quasi French woman." She collects words and speaks in tongues--other tongues than her own.

She is well aware that she isn't French, in the strictest sense of the word and she isn't sure that that's a bad thing. She had been visiting her collection when I stopped by to comment at your place, inattentively.

Blame it on the drugs for the yanked tooth!

Je ne regrette rien said...

I enjoy you both, LF and QFW!