guess who's coming to dinner?

okay, within the last couple of days I was surfing around blogs and saw this idea, complete with branded graphic (no not this one), on a blog game of sorts where one picks 10 bloggers they would invite to dinner and why.

of course, I can no longer find this blog or its accompanying graphics. And I kind of think it would be really annoying to invite TEN bloggers to dinner. I mean that would be like TWENTY dinner guests and hell, not only would I not want to cook for twenty people, I don't think I have enough dishes or chairs.

Of course, we won't even mention that I don't have an operating stove. or cupboards. or table. (details, details).

So anyway, I am blatantly plagiarizing the idea (thanks whoever you were, wherever you are) but changing it to fit my idea of a nice dinner party.

Which is dinner for eight. assuming I had a dining room table and chairs. in France. Of course I have a table and chairs in the United States. the maximum it seats is 12. so who knows, by the time I end this, I may have 6 bloggers + guest at my imaginary table. and imaginary dinner. in France. Okay since we're dreaming, I'm flying all the guests in. First Class!

Okay (in no particular order, although I know all you sensitive types just ignored that ... *sigh*)

Utah Savage ~ I'm inviting Utah for a variety of reasons. First of all, she rubbed elbows with the bourgeoisie back when the bourgeoise were captivatingly cool. Its not her fault she didn't think so. I've almost forgiven her for not running off with the sexy Italian. Or offering to introduce me to his son. Utah has a razor sharp wit, we all know she cleans up nice (who wouldn't want Audrey Hepburn's look-alike dressing up their table?) AND she makes a mean corn bread!!!! which I love with lots of butter and French honey.

Bête de Jour ~ I've sung his praises before, but don't we all agree we need an English bard to spice things up at the party? Plus, if you've read his blog, it would be worth it just to see WHO he brings along ... as well as the after-party dissemination he will undoubtedly regale us with. Bête de Jour is one of those self-abasing types who swears his visage isn't fit for public scrutiny, and yet he regularly writes about his comical forays into the public eye ... so I think he is hiding something (maybe even in those tall man trousers he undoubtedly wears, given his height!!) (( yeah, I said it ... what?! ))

Our Juicy Life ~ I'm told the gal can cook!!! and she is artistic! (maybe she'll do some of those portraits in chalk or something...in between helping prepare a lavish meal ... lol) did I mention she has a pool when she arrives and I need to butter her up?! But seriously (or not), she is also one of our few happy bloggers and if all I invite are the downers like me ... well, you get it.

L'Ennui Melodieux ~ we need to be innoculated against boredom. We need a man who has a laptop full of pictures of athletes in tight costumes. We need a man who can entertain us with politically incorrect satire and, sad as it makes me folks, Jon Stewart isn't available.

La Belette Rouge ~ She tells us she is a she-weasel, but I know from personal experience that the woman is a stone-cold fox! We need glamour, style, snappy repertoire and a great smile that only she can provide. Plus she can help ME pick out my outfit for the night!

La Framericaine (halfway to france) ~ Okay, the woman can slip seamlessly between two cultures. Her French is indispensable, and her French husband is oh so debonaire!! I can just tell from his pictures that he would be enthralling us with his frenchdom while LaF entertained us with her stories of film, literature and life growing up in the rural south (how's that for a combo?)

The Bloggess ~ well, she will be our one regrets I am sure as she is too famous for my little affair. But what can I say? I have a crush on the bloggess and her extraordinarily twisted wit. She makes me want to hum that song by Katy Perry ... YOU know the one. *wink wink*

Geekgirl Unveiled and Function of Time and Nate Beaty (my cousin) ~ Okay, I need a couple of cynical smart-ass women at the table just so I feel less awkward. I mean that in the nicest possible way, as a total compliment. Plus Stacey can take pictures. for posterity. and with Nate there, we can have a cynicism triumvirate! not to mention I kinda miss him and his whiny ass....

If I decide to disallow guests (which is always a good idea, unless they are hot single men who want to date ME ... after all, spouses can be so needy at these things and after all, it IS all about us. Except Bête still has to bring a date, I absolutely INSIST upon it) and LaF has to bring Mr LaF; then I can squeeze in a few more and there are a couple of French side folks I am ever so curious about ... like

No Place Like It - something tells me she is a quirky gal who could hold her own with the likes of the above, and in fact capture the audience with some funny stories. take for instance, her clever dissection of french neighbors... yep yep

And since I keep talking about Riana, I simply must have her as well. First off, she is another cook. and I am curiouser and curiouser about this shedding of all things monetary. hmmmm. plus she is great with a can of whup ass. keep the peanut gallery under control. just don't piss her off!

I want a gal with an English accent (besides f.o.t. *heh heh*) so we're adding Nunhead Ramblings to the invites. She's going to take notes and turn it all into a screenplay (sorry, but of course I'LL get all the best lines). She hasn't realized it yet, but film or television writing is in her future. Its her destiny, I'm convinced.

I also recently discovered a great songstress is nearby (she actually VISITED my blog, go figure) and so I'm inviting Amy of diary of amy rigby fame... maybe if we are nice and feed her free drinks she will even sing for us.

Well, now that I've got started, I've decided it must be a buffet/barbeque outside in the garden with paper plates. There's already far too many of you and I detest doing dishes.  After all, even with my eliminating unnecessary (to my dinner) spouses, that's sixteen PLUS me! good grief. I thought it was annoying to invite ten. what was I thinking?

by the way. there are no rules with this spontaneous outburst. None of you must feel compelled to pass it on. but please feel free to send hostess gifts.

beats a blog roll, eh?