(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

guess who's coming to dinner?

okay, within the last couple of days I was surfing around blogs and saw this idea, complete with branded graphic (no not this one), on a blog game of sorts where one picks 10 bloggers they would invite to dinner and why.

of course, I can no longer find this blog or its accompanying graphics. And I kind of think it would be really annoying to invite TEN bloggers to dinner. I mean that would be like TWENTY dinner guests and hell, not only would I not want to cook for twenty people, I don't think I have enough dishes or chairs.

Of course, we won't even mention that I don't have an operating stove. or cupboards. or table. (details, details).

So anyway, I am blatantly plagiarizing the idea (thanks whoever you were, wherever you are) but changing it to fit my idea of a nice dinner party.

Which is dinner for eight. assuming I had a dining room table and chairs. in France. Of course I have a table and chairs in the United States. the maximum it seats is 12. so who knows, by the time I end this, I may have 6 bloggers + guest at my imaginary table. and imaginary dinner. in France. Okay since we're dreaming, I'm flying all the guests in. First Class!

Okay (in no particular order, although I know all you sensitive types just ignored that ... *sigh*)

Utah Savage ~ I'm inviting Utah for a variety of reasons. First of all, she rubbed elbows with the bourgeoisie back when the bourgeoise were captivatingly cool. Its not her fault she didn't think so. I've almost forgiven her for not running off with the sexy Italian. Or offering to introduce me to his son. Utah has a razor sharp wit, we all know she cleans up nice (who wouldn't want Audrey Hepburn's look-alike dressing up their table?) AND she makes a mean corn bread!!!! which I love with lots of butter and French honey.

Bête de Jour ~ I've sung his praises before, but don't we all agree we need an English bard to spice things up at the party? Plus, if you've read his blog, it would be worth it just to see WHO he brings along ... as well as the after-party dissemination he will undoubtedly regale us with. Bête de Jour is one of those self-abasing types who swears his visage isn't fit for public scrutiny, and yet he regularly writes about his comical forays into the public eye ... so I think he is hiding something (maybe even in those tall man trousers he undoubtedly wears, given his height!!) (( yeah, I said it ... what?! ))

Our Juicy Life ~ I'm told the gal can cook!!! and she is artistic! (maybe she'll do some of those portraits in chalk or something...in between helping prepare a lavish meal ... lol) did I mention she has a pool when she arrives and I need to butter her up?! But seriously (or not), she is also one of our few happy bloggers and if all I invite are the downers like me ... well, you get it.

L'Ennui Melodieux ~ we need to be innoculated against boredom. We need a man who has a laptop full of pictures of athletes in tight costumes. We need a man who can entertain us with politically incorrect satire and, sad as it makes me folks, Jon Stewart isn't available.

La Belette Rouge ~ She tells us she is a she-weasel, but I know from personal experience that the woman is a stone-cold fox! We need glamour, style, snappy repertoire and a great smile that only she can provide. Plus she can help ME pick out my outfit for the night!

La Framericaine (halfway to france) ~ Okay, the woman can slip seamlessly between two cultures. Her French is indispensable, and her French husband is oh so debonaire!! I can just tell from his pictures that he would be enthralling us with his frenchdom while LaF entertained us with her stories of film, literature and life growing up in the rural south (how's that for a combo?)

The Bloggess ~ well, she will be our one regrets I am sure as she is too famous for my little affair. But what can I say? I have a crush on the bloggess and her extraordinarily twisted wit. She makes me want to hum that song by Katy Perry ... YOU know the one. *wink wink*

Geekgirl Unveiled and Function of Time and Nate Beaty (my cousin) ~ Okay, I need a couple of cynical smart-ass women at the table just so I feel less awkward. I mean that in the nicest possible way, as a total compliment. Plus Stacey can take pictures. for posterity. and with Nate there, we can have a cynicism triumvirate! not to mention I kinda miss him and his whiny ass....

If I decide to disallow guests (which is always a good idea, unless they are hot single men who want to date ME ... after all, spouses can be so needy at these things and after all, it IS all about us. Except Bête still has to bring a date, I absolutely INSIST upon it) and LaF has to bring Mr LaF; then I can squeeze in a few more and there are a couple of French side folks I am ever so curious about ... like

No Place Like It - something tells me she is a quirky gal who could hold her own with the likes of the above, and in fact capture the audience with some funny stories. take for instance, her clever dissection of french neighbors... yep yep

And since I keep talking about Riana, I simply must have her as well. First off, she is another cook. and I am curiouser and curiouser about this shedding of all things monetary. hmmmm. plus she is great with a can of whup ass. keep the peanut gallery under control. just don't piss her off!

I want a gal with an English accent (besides f.o.t. *heh heh*) so we're adding Nunhead Ramblings to the invites. She's going to take notes and turn it all into a screenplay (sorry, but of course I'LL get all the best lines). She hasn't realized it yet, but film or television writing is in her future. Its her destiny, I'm convinced.

I also recently discovered a great songstress is nearby (she actually VISITED my blog, go figure) and so I'm inviting Amy of diary of amy rigby fame... maybe if we are nice and feed her free drinks she will even sing for us.

Well, now that I've got started, I've decided it must be a buffet/barbeque outside in the garden with paper plates. There's already far too many of you and I detest doing dishes.  After all, even with my eliminating unnecessary (to my dinner) spouses, that's sixteen PLUS me! good grief. I thought it was annoying to invite ten. what was I thinking?

by the way. there are no rules with this spontaneous outburst. None of you must feel compelled to pass it on. but please feel free to send hostess gifts.

beats a blog roll, eh?


Nunhead Mum of One said...

thank you for your very kind words JNRR - I'm blushing! Just for that I'll help you cook at your buffet/barbecue/dinner party AND wash up AND go round searching for glasses that always end up in strange places AND I'll give you all the best lines in my future scripts.....seriously, i'm overwhelmed and you've put a smile on my face that will be there all day!

by the way.....what (or who) does f.o.t mean?

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I will *totally* come to that party. Will there be wine? Or at least cheap booze? Because I can bring the cheap booze, if needed.

Je ne regrette rien said...

NunheadMum-f.o.t. is Function of Time (link to the right) and she is a kick ass blogger and francophile extraordinaire.

You have a gift of writing conversations AND capturing characters ... keep it up!!

jenny! cheaper the better! as long as there is plenty of it! wow, what a blast this party would be ...

Randal Graves said...

This is now what I'm known for, male athletes in tight pants? I better start tossing up some more poems.

Being the sensitive type mindful of decorum, I'll refrain from the gnashing of teeth being fourth.

I'll even bring some wine. Oh, you all wanted to drink, too?

Hell with work, I'll be there in, well, however long it takes to cross the Atlantic.

Our Juicy Life said...

Sounds like fun. I would love to help cook, especially on your brand new appliances!!!! I am artistic, but I'm not a painter/drawer...I'm a potter. I could make everyone a coil or pinch pot????? BUT...I don't want to be known as the happy blogger. Damn it, I'm not always happy. I can bitch and moan and groan with the best of them. And I hate most people...except for all of you of course. I'm changing my ways and going to do some dark, depressing posts.

and you'll always be invited to our pool, no need to butter me up. You'll make sure you de-snake the garden, yes?

Je ne regrette rien said...

RG-so you just TOTALLY OVERLOOK the Jon Stewart comment eh? it is a supreme compliment to be viewed the next best thing ... but whatever. Of course, if you want to recite me some poetry, I'm here....all starry eyed!

OJL-well, in my book you're happy. even when you're sad. happy to hate those who bug you even! smiles.

I'll bring my big girl boots!

La Belette Rouge said...

I happily accept your invitation. How could I not?? I will be there with the best outfit and smile I can muster. And, Miss Thing, you need no help with your ensemble. You are a fashion fabulous. I will bring a case of champagne and my He-weasel.
I only wish this were a real party. I want to come!!!

Anonymous said...

So when is dinner? What shall I bring? You know... I'm dating again.... and he's a hot, tall Brazilian! Can I bring him?

Je ne regrette rien said...

LBR~I know, wouldn't it be cool?! I think I'm going to pick a date next year and insist you all arrive. in France. Blog Summit redux.

f.o.t.~what shall you bring? hmmm. I'll take a hot, tall Brazilian to stay. Yes, he can be your HTBs brother. I'm okay with that. And bring yours too. Could only enhance our view.

Randal Graves said...

Of course I totally overlooked that as I'm sensitive that I'm not as handsome and funny as he is, dammit!

Okay, sparkle up those eyes!

There once was a man from Nantucket...

fot, okay, if we play drunken soccer, that dude is on my team.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a plan.. I have more Brazilians to play too... It seems that I am surrounded by a Brazilian Cartel.

La Framéricaine said...

Needless to say, I too will be delighted to attend your fantasy--for the moment--garden party and drag along my Frencher half and am honored to be included in such august company.

Of course, I will need to take a page from Riana's play book by bringing along my tent and sleeping bag for the sleepover in your backyard since I will be living on a stipend--with the emphasis on end--once I get to France!!!

Le Framéricain is a great cook with that French je ne sais quoi that those people seem to bring with them to culinary events.

I, on the other hand, will be delighted to clear the table--after a respectable minimum of 2-3 hours of stimulating conversation--do the dishes, and reset the table for the "souper" that we will no doubt flow right into as good Francophiles!

By the way, very creative and powerful coping strategy!!!

Please accept our RSVP for any gathering you like--real or imagined!

Je ne regrette rien said...

RG-I'm all misty and stuff. I mean sparkly.

f.o.t.-didn't you learn to share your toys?

LaF-you are on to me. a virtual dinner party is the next best thing to real, and it has been fun imagining all the strange and wonderful occurrences that would develop if I could just twitch my nose and you'd all be here.

Je ne regrette rien said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amy said...

I can't usually sing after eating and drinking a lot but in this case I'll make an exception! I'll only sing the wicked songs...when do we start?