gather round little cupcakes.

I've been bad. very bad. the debbil made me do it. (Honest, Stacey!)

Apparently residing in the topsy-turvy other world of non-employment has turned my head upside down. I have somehow confused the idea of a weight LOSS diet and a weight GAIN diet. So much so, that today I ate TWO desserts!!! and one of them felt sneaky. even though I didn't plan it that way.

I had lunch with my friend Stacey today. We met at an old haunt of mine in Portland's Pearl district ... Piazza Italia. Now if you are ever in that particularly seductive area of Portland (not much more appealing to a gal than the pearl) ... you must go there. Their specialty is simple, well prepared Italian dishes. Stacey had the Squarciarella and I the gnocchi. Their bread was perfectly italian, chewy crust, fresh and tasty innards ... not that fake air stuff. We had wine (yum) and then ... I ordered dessert. Not just ANY dessert mind you. but Piazza Italia's jaw dropping Affogatto. The first time I had this dessert I thought I had died and gone to Neiman Marcus' shoe department. It was THAT amazing. and yet ridiculously, in fact DECEPTIVELY simple. You take a frosty iced dessert glass. You add 2 scoops of the most decadent vanilla ice cream or gelato you can find. Using the absolute BEST, FRESHEST coffee beans ... you prepare a shot of espresso and chill it. or let it cool off. whatever. you pour this over the ice cream. top it with fresh whipped cream. devour. sex on a spoon I tell you SEX ON A SPOON!!!!

Stacey eyed me dubiously when I ordered said dessert. "large sigh. I guess I won't be visiting Saint Cupcake after all". My greedy ears perk up. "Saint Cupcake? you wanted to go there? I hadn't even thought of it!" (starts salivating disappointedly) then ... bright shiny thing arrives - Affogatto!!! Stacey dips her spoon and then her eyes roll to the back of her head as she is transported to ... Affogatto where but it was heavenly. It was quite entertaining to watch the two of us attempt to politely share this one dish. her spoon. then my spoon. then her spoon (won't she hurry up???) then mine .... presto change-o, no more affogatto!

So as if that meal weren't MORE THAN ENOUGH ... we proceed to knock around the Pearl, and then we part ways for our next appointments. I finish up my 2 errands in downtown Portland, and I'm heading for the freeway when, suddenly and completely out of my control, my car is pulled by some invisible yet Superman-strong force up one block and a left where lo and behold, a miraculously empty parking space awaits just at the curb of .... SAINT CUPCAKE!!!

As mentioned previously, this sly saint fools you into believing you are only HALF bad if you order the dots (mini-cupcakes). But I couldn't decide and now they are so far away from Seaside and so of course to be economical I had to order SIX. cost of gas and all.

So there they are folks. Nestled in their pink box. That's a Fat Elvis on the top left (banana cake with peanut butter fudge frosting and a banana chip for good measure). I already ate one *burp*. The flirty little hussy to his right is Lemon Berry ... yep, yep. Lemon Cake and blueberries in the frosting. Smack dab in the center is Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese frosting. mmmm. Lower Left is the turtle! Chocolate cake ensconced in Butterscotch with a walnut half. The toasty number on the bottom right is Coconut. Vanilla cake with toffee brittle and Toasted Coconut frosting.

The only thing lowfat on my dessert menu was the ice cold 2% milk I washed down Elvis with.

I used to have a saying at work that the only surprises I wanted were the kind that came in little blue boxes. My one true confession at the altar of Saint Cupcake? I've got it bad. I need the kind of surprises that come in little pink boxes. And that ain't good.

Bless me sisters for I have sinned. *my tummy hurts.*