(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Je suis fatigué. for some reason, I haven't slept very well the last couple of nights and I have that ultra-sensitivity thing going on associated with lack of sleep.
I vaguely recollect this feeling from my 20s and 30s. Some of you may remember those nights of coming home from work, donning party gear and then departing to dance straight through until the next morning. After one of those episodes, you get this great lightheaded feeling and sort of a strange prickly sensation on the skin and a slight burn in the chest.
I swear its true. The only problem is I haven't been dancing all night. That would make the situation almost enjoyable. Instead I've been restless. and worrying a bit. About what? hmmm. well that's what I need to get to the bottom of. Maybe it isn't worry. exactly. it could be ...
1. A foot in each country and not knowing where I'll land. I've pretty much decided if I can fashion a sustainable life here, it is looking pretty good. I think I need to have been here longer, some or all of all four seasons, to be sure.
2. Wondering how #1 will impact my daughter and son.
There's other little naggling things, but I suppose it boils down to lack of certainty.
I've gotten better with dealing with lack of certainty. Hell, being a big ol' control freak I'd say I'm doing pretty damn well. But ... I'm just not 100% sure! (lmao).
Okay well this post is basically meaningless. Adding no value to the blogosphere. Useless ramblings of a runaway American.
What's that, you say? so what ELSE is new? harumph.